Business School F.C. 0 vs 5 River

The Business School faced a Tsunami of goals today as they went down five zero to the United Nations team of River FC! But no bother as the attendance at the Storrsdale public house for a post match refresher reached its highest level in Years. Lashings of fizzy pop and scampi fries made thoughts of going down like the Costa Concordia became nothing but a distant memory!

Las Economistas started slower than Sammy McSlug the Salty Sea Slug with Cystic Fibrosis. A bizarro first goal came off the bar then Roberts shoulder and the flood gates were open! Rivers Ivorian contingent of Treasure, Precious and Mendy caused the Business defence a torrid time and soon it was 2 nil. The one shining light for the Rossineri was Paul Murray who started to dictate the game with his give and go play. But too many overhit passes to George of the Jungle saw the managers lovechild chasing thankless balls on a road to no-where! He had one half chance and one turn and shot but couldn't find the net!

HALF TIME: BSFC 0 RIVER 3!!

The 2nd half saw Tom Pardon continue to be date raped by Benjamin Mendy as Naylor jnr changed places with Kevey Roberto. A soft penalty was awarded against Naylor and dispatched pass the Roberts! 3 NIL River!! Murray continued to play like the magician he is but Ashley and Doherty were still finding their early season form and fitness!! Hedges came on for a petulant Larkola and took his first ball to his already blurred vision and floaters bogeye! Marcus Smith lookielikey who had played well at right back pulled his quad and Baby Martin was back on. An obvious pass to his manager was on but Marty ignored him in an outrageous display of toddler tantrums worthy of Topsy! 2 more goals for the Refugee River Boys followed and the game petered out!

FULL TIME: BSFC 0 RIVER 5!!!

STOP PRESS:

NAYLOR JNR 'ENJOYS' THE DELIGHTS OF ARRONS DERRIERE!!!

NAYLOR SNR GOES WEST TO SAMPLE BUNNY RANCH SUPRISE!!!!

GEORGE SOPER ARRESTED FOR TYING BRASS TO HIS BED!!!!