Collegiate 10 vs 0 Business School F.C.

'Blood, sweat and tears are the currency of the Zombie Apocalypse!' said Arsene Hedges today as his army of the Walking Dead refused to lie down and surrender! An onslaught of attacks did nothing to dampen the spirit and fight of the Business Schools brain eating Dead Souls!! And no one typified this more than Man of the Match Johnny Jackson who collided with Collegiates Klaatu from 'The Day the Earth Stood Still' but always got up for more!!

The first 10 minutes saw crunching tackles from Jackson, Crumpet and Hodder on the Collegiate number 9 as he went squealing to the ref. But then he found time and space and the opposition goals began to flow. Loonietunes Larkin ploughed a lone furrow up front as the Rossineris passing game deserted them. Then calamity struck as Digger Dinns calf popped like Stormy Daniels mott after a night with The Donald!

HALF TIME : COLLEGIATE 5 BUSINESS 0!!

In the 2nd half Philip 'Harrison' Schofield put his queue jumping past behind him and slotted into right wing! Gay Phil and Tommy 'The Ghoul' Garriock played in unison like two Latin Lovers in tune with each others erogenous zones ! Harry and Billy began playing the ball out the back and one touch football was restored. Brad got a handle on the midfield and Ashley ran with abandon up front like a New Forest Pony! Collegiate goals continued but the BSFC would not surrender! It will take more than a gang of Croccy scals to kill the Business School Undead!!!

FINAL SCORE : COLLEGIATE 10 BUSINESS SCHOOL 0!!!

STOP PRESS:

GARRIOCK BLUDGEONS PARTNER TO DEATH AFTER WEEKEND ALARM FIASCO!!!

HARRISON COMES OUT THE CLOSET TO WIFE WHO WONDERED WHY HER LACIES HAD GONE MISSING!!!

MRS BLACKSHORE MAKES HUBBY WEAR HEDGES MASK WHEN HE SEEKS HIS CONJUGAL RIGHTS!!!